Friday, August 15, 2008

going solo again

My X will be moving out this weekend. As much as I hate to admit it..I'm pretty sad, and torn up about the whole ordeal. There have been more jabs than I care to hear, more grasping at my heart than it can take. In turn, I privately cry in the shower. I know deep down inside that this break up is truly best for us both, he just can't see it..yet.

I really wanted this relationship to work out so badly I forced myself to stay in it...while not all bad, it just wasn't all encompassing of how I need to be loved...I often told myself...that I had too many expectations, I don't know a good thing when I have it, he's a good guy, so so nice, loyal & honest. I knew that he would never hurt me emotionally or physically. However, that just wasn't enough for me... I also knew he would never challenge me intellectually, love me passionately, or share enthusiastically in the adventures of making a life together.

I.....just sad I had to hurt a really good guy.

4 comments:

Bordeaux said...

Truly hurting him would have been staying when he didn't challenge you intellectually, etc. If he doesn't fulfill your needs, you owe it to both of you to end it. No favors in false pretenses, he deserves someone he can thrill. I'm right here.

Love, Dad.

Unknown said...

I want to be there to hug you and hold you. I love you so much.

arieselephant said...

Yes, I know...like I said it just hurts to hurt someone else...even for all the right reasons.

Unknown said...

I wish I were there to comfort you at this time. You are so brave for doing what is best for yourself (such a hard thing to do for so many), and I admire your strength! I know the right relationship will come to you. I hope you know that as well. Have faith.
I love you immensely! xoxo~Sarah