There was something off from the get go and it never went away, or changed...really. I often felt I was living with a boy, and there's nothing worse than being your boyfriends mother. I found myself bossing, and nagging...I couldn't stand listening to myself anymore.
He was too quite, eerily shy. When we went places he never spoke to my friends, family or truly tried to get to know them. It's caused weirdness and uncomfortable conversations between me and my friends. He rarely had any type of conversation with me, either.
On my 32nd birthday he sat at the end of the table away from anyone, didn't say one word, but at the end of the night leaned into my ear and said that he did not want to have split the bill evenly with my friends because they ordered more than him...I was dumbfounded.
He never looked at me..you know that look a guy gives the girl when he likes her..or loves her. I looked at him, and he would look back and say... what...why are you looking at me? and make a face. I only wanted a smile back.. reformation that he felt the same.
After a year together he told me he loved me for the first time, I was barely coherent, passing out face down in my bed from a booze filled evening....Not to my face, and not when I, or he was even sober. It was a mute point the next day and was rarely said anymore after that.
The physical never transformed into an intimate relationship...I realized there was never going to be anything deeper, and no connection ever.
I'm reminding myself of these reasons....to move forward, and so I don't fall into another loveless relationship.
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