Honey always said...

aries 3/21-4/19

You've got nothing to lose now, so wake up your sense of adventure and let it go!

eggghhh

"orange juice always tastes better before you brush your teeth"...unknown & everyone

anyone say fiji?

There are no words for the pain my body is feeling after my all day cleaning, painting, fixing up affair, and I didn't even get it all done!  today's agenda, cleaning the patio, laundry room and bedroom.  I hate cleaning...despise it, and since there is still more to do it will only make my body ache more, and the place will inevitably get dirty again. I would prefer to go on a vacation to cleanse my mind and soul...or at least have someone else clean up after me.

happenings from 8:30pm to 9:05am

after a night of puking up fried calamari and pepperoni pizza...it was the not so fried calamari.....getting NO sleep due to nauseating stomach pain, and Oscar (my cat) who has taken up singing VERY LOUDLY at all hours of the night...AND my period with its super crippling cramps decided it was time to come, I ended up waking up late for work. I hurriedly showered, threw on some clothes, and stumbled out the door. and... Yes, I feel like shit today...but while I was driving to work I noticed a freshly painted grey rundown stucco building that had a brand-spanking new sign "LA Organic Pharmacy", along with new wire fencing and a little security camera placed just so at the front door entrance. I stared... processing all that was going on, it was like a scene out of WEEDS. I usually saw suspicious characters hanging out there as I drove by on the way home.......while in my deep stare, a man walking by......I have to assume homeless or he just didn't care about his black muck stained clothes, or that he was shoeless and forgot to brush his insanely matted hair for the past 9 years.....throws me a peace sign and smiles...I cocked my head back at the unexpected gesture...who me??...I gave him the peace sign right back and smiled. Maybe he appreciated the fact that my car was just as dirty as he....or he thought I was staring at him and felt sorry that I had to go to work today. I'll never know...but...It made me smile, and I felt slightly better. The light turned green, I drove on and in my sensitive state made it to work only 5 mins late.

inhale..exhale

....

ARIES march 21- april 19

Your next assignment is to inject more fun into your job -- or into anything that feels like work, for that matter. You've got a head start because lately you've been playing harder than usual. That should give you creative momentum as you reinvent your approach to activities that push you to your limits and test your resolve. For best results, be open to the possibility that you really don't have to keep being bored and cranky in places where you've assumed you will always be bored and cranky.

I definately need a new job then.

going solo again

My X will be moving out this weekend. As much as I hate to admit it..I'm pretty sad, and torn up about the whole ordeal. There have been more jabs than I care to hear, more grasping at my heart than it can take. In turn, I privately cry in the shower. I know deep down inside that this break up is truly best for us both, he just can't see it..yet.

I really wanted this relationship to work out so badly I forced myself to stay in it...while not all bad, it just wasn't all encompassing of how I need to be loved...I often told myself...that I had too many expectations, I don't know a good thing when I have it, he's a good guy, so so nice, loyal & honest. I knew that he would never hurt me emotionally or physically. However, that just wasn't enough for me... I also knew he would never challenge me intellectually, love me passionately, or share enthusiastically in the adventures of making a life together.

I.....just sad I had to hurt a really good guy.

bearded beauty

i'm obsessed with flowers.... go ahead smell it.

baby...it's only natural

I was standing in line to get my lunch at the grocery store and caught myself staring at a package of pampers newborn "sensitive" diapers. The picture on the front showed a content new mother gently holding her newborn to her chest while it was sleeping. I quickly related to how it felt to hold a new born baby that way...as I've held my nephew, Eli, exactly like that. All of the sudden an overwhelming sensation took over my body, I started to cry....I needed a baby. I've had this sensational feeling happen before, it's strange, animal like. Most of the time I feel indifferent to procreating. I quickly tried to put myself in check..."are you ok, lady?" asked the grocery clerk....yeah.. yes! I'm fine, I embarrassingly replied, got something in my eye. I start thinking.... I have no boyfriend/husband...not even a hint at one....I wonder if the kid thing will happen for me someday....my job sucks..school will be never ending...I checked out and the feeling had gone.

today's poop

Sorry (MOM), I haven't blogged lately....I had a wisdom tooth removed on Friday, and was hopped up on pain killers all weekend. Not only do pain killers take away pain, but they also take away your ability to process happy thoughts and your ability to have a proper bowel movement.
You'll all be happy to know that my pain has ceased and I pooped this morning. So with that said...I'm feeling better!

wisdom

what makes the wisdom teeth so wise?  I'm going to ponder this while my codeine sets in.

radness

my friend Mariko is not mad at me!!

mj...thanks for not being pissed that I got lost in bf world. you're the best.

where'd everybody go?

Eddie & Devon= moved to NY
Sara Kaye= has moved into the abyss, or Michigan.....she may be back
Tara= headed to London for a year
Mariko= still here in LA, but mad at me for being such a neglectful friend, can't blame her
Rebecca= in North Carolina, possibly on her way back in a year
Ron= is on the West Side ;p
Lesley= moved outta CA as quickly as she could...to NY
Trey & Larry= always in Malta, or some far away land

so i've found myself kinda friendless, with some friends in question, and have found that all my closest friends have left or are leaving. I guess it's time to make some new friends.

wishing for fireflies & cricket sounds..

fun art slang..

use enough 

to make it 

smooth enough: 

assuming a function -regen projects II 

what are your plans for the weekend?

should anyone need me... I will be at the beach. my tan is fading along with my hope for a hot date. maybe if I get tan enough, I'll get a hot date?